Delusions of Grandeur

For the last four years, the only thing stronger than my first cup of coffee every morning has been the determination that today I will not drink. I used to wake up every day completely exhausted from the night before. Every night I woke up at 3 o’clock in the morning and tossed and turned…

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Bracing for Impact

The actual definition of rock bottom is “the lowest or most fundamental part or level.” That’s not very helpful, because when it comes to alcohol addiction, there is a societal expectation that you decide to stop drinking when you hit rock bottom. Where is that exactly? How much damage do I have to inflict on…

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Pay no Attention…

Sometimes I wish my inner voice could physically manifest and follow me around, just like Jiminy Cricket, so that when she’s being a real asshole, I could turn to someone and say, “Do you see what I’m dealing with here?” I don’t think the people who know me would say I’m an inherently mean person,…

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Phone. Purse. Keys.

Ugh, the dreaded end of the night checklist. There is an ongoing joke amongst my friends that I need to get the words “Phone. Purse. Keys.” tattooed to the inside of my wrist as a reminder that I need to make it home with all three. It sounds like a simple thing, doesn’t it? Three…

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