Schadenfreude

I was listening to an episode of one of my favorite podcasts recently and the hilarious actress Wendi McLendon-Covey was talking about her decision not to have children. This is a subject that I am all too familiar with, as I’ve known for as long as I can remember that I didn’t want kids. Just…

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Show Me Patience

When I was growing up, my mom had a golden rule for us when it came to making decisions about things we wanted. For example, if I wanted to get my belly-button pierced or change my hair color, she would tell me to wait two weeks and if I still really wanted to do it…

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Boulevard of Broken Dreams

As I was staring at a blank page on my computer screen this morning trying to write the first sentence of a well-crafted and insightful blog post, my brain suddenly time traveled back to my college days and Green Day’s American Idiot album. “I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever…

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Delusions of Grandeur

For the last four years, the only thing stronger than my first cup of coffee every morning has been the determination that today I will not drink. I used to wake up every day completely exhausted from the night before. Every night I woke up at 3 o’clock in the morning and tossed and turned…

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Bracing for Impact

The actual definition of rock bottom is “the lowest or most fundamental part or level.” That’s not very helpful, because when it comes to alcohol addiction, there is a societal expectation that you decide to stop drinking when you hit rock bottom. Where is that exactly? How much damage do I have to inflict on…

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I’m Tired of Soup

Whenever I’m at a low point in life or I’m dealing with something stressful or difficult, the endless barrage of inspirational quotes, hashtags, Pinterest boards, memes, you-name-it make me want to lose my mind, Tasmanian Devil style.

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Pay no Attention…

Sometimes I wish my inner voice could physically manifest and follow me around, just like Jiminy Cricket, so that when she’s being a real asshole, I could turn to someone and say, “Do you see what I’m dealing with here?” I don’t think the people who know me would say I’m an inherently mean person,…

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The $21,000 Question

A week after I decided to give up alcohol for good, I had the nagging feeling that I needed to take a hard look at how I had spent my money for the last few years. I’ve known for a long time that the truth was going to hurt, and I wasn’t ready to face the gut punch of knowing how much money I have spent on booze.

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Phone. Purse. Keys.

Ugh, the dreaded end of the night checklist. There is an ongoing joke amongst my friends that I need to get the words “Phone. Purse. Keys.” tattooed to the inside of my wrist as a reminder that I need to make it home with all three. It sounds like a simple thing, doesn’t it? Three…

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Do I have to be sober?

I find the term sober so damn depressing. Just the very sound of the word evokes the idea of seriousness or just an all-around lack of fun. Who decided that this would be the word to describe those who choose to live a life without alcohol?

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